99 Funny Jokes for Kids
What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The 99 Funny Jokes for Kids you play with them, the harder they get. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn’t? What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won’t call you a week later. Why did god create Adam before he created eve? Because he didn’t want anyone telling him how to make Adam. What is a lesbian’s favorite thing to eat? What did the elephant say to the naked man?
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How do you breath through something so small? There’s a clock on the stove! What doesn’t belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman. What’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal. What’s the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin? You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.
7 What do you call a tiger with glasses on?
What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking she’s going to eat me. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
What’s the difference between love and herpes? How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn’t report it. The thief was spending less then his wife. Why do women have small feet? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
The Basics of Phonics
Why do men die before their wives? How do men sort out their laundry? What’s the difference between a man and ET? Why haven’t they sent a woman to the moon yet? Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? Because women wouldn’t do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
What’s the difference between your paycheck and your cock? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck! What do you call kids born in whorehouses? What’s the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
Who We Are
A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them. What’s white, smells, and can be found in panties? I just didn’t know her first name was “Always. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning himself? Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest. Why do men pay more for car insurance? Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week! Deer balls, there under a buck. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
Octopus Counting Craft
What’s in the toilet of the star ship enterprise? What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out? What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy? A red headed bitch with a yeast infection. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
What’s the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? Cowboy hats are for ass holes. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? How do you know when you are getting old? When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Strategy To Help Students Understand Math Problems
What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ”quickie”, only you do it yourself. Because they don’t get assholes until they’re married. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?
Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins ! They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went. Why don’t women blink during foreplay? Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg? Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year! Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife’s yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he’s in, he shuts up!
Croque Madame Sandwich
How do you know when your wife is really dead? Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger. How do you make five pounds of fat look good? What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
Christmas Crafts for Kids
What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught on fire. What did Adam say to Eve?
Stand back, I don’t know how big this thing gets! How do you get a nun pregnant? Why don’t witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks? What does parsley and pubic hair have in common? How do you say 69 in Chinese? What is the definition of a menstrual period? A bloody waste of fucking time.
Reading Teaching Tips
Why is a woman’s pussy like a warm toilet seat? They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you. What is the first sign of AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? What is the Difference Between Pussy and Apple Pie? You can eat your mom’s apple pie.
Why do women pierce their bellybutton? Place to hang their air freshener. Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They’re going to call her Old Spice. What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming. Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? So they don’t whistle on the way down. Why did the woman cross the road?