Wacky Warning Labels
Think you wacky Warning Labels what it takes to write for Cracked. Then submit an article or some other pieces of content.
Hey, why can’t I vote on comments? Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. If you’re already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. What Would The Netflix Movie Theaters Be Like?
The Best, Most Underrated Lines From Shows And Movies, Pt. Most children’s TV producers know that to get kids to watch, you have to terrify the little bastards. Looking back at the weird-ass shows they’ve cranked out over the decades, it’s a wonder that we all grew up to be such, stable, well-adjusted adults. Slim Goodbody was a friendly Jewfroed health nut who saw nothing wrong with showing you his innards in a way that is both intimate and vomit-inducing. What The Hell Were They Thinking?
Horshack hybrid would look like on the inside, this is the show of your dreams. Slim Goodbody is here to force you to make good nutrition type choices, or he’ll feed you to his robot-man. Don’t get us wrong, we’re pleased when the neighborhood exhibitionist takes a unhealthy interest in vulnerable children. The scary part is when the animated picture of the red-track-suited man magically bursts into a nude man who utilizes an inappropriate wide-legged stance. Note the shiny animated highlights to accentuate the fact that yes, this man has shed his clothes to teach you about love and life. And we wonder why we have an obesity epidemic?
Path to improved well being
Slim Goodbody utilizes his lumpy flesh-covered unitard to teach all the terrified children of the world why they should eat as much as possible, in order to cover the monstrosities which lurk beneath their skin. Pay close attention to the part where the animated Goodbody goes through the trouble of turning around to show his half-muscularly-buttocked backside. We contend this visual assault subconsciously prompted millions of children to eat uncontrollably, as they never, ever wanted to be as healthy as Slim Goodbody. You know you want some of this lower intestine that is covering my private parts.
Let’s see if you can make it past :16 of the intro without collapsing into a scared little ball of tears and urine. Nice how they suck you in with the jaunty little sailor theme, then slam you with the nightmare fuel. The “Sigmund” in the title is a sad little lettuce heap of worthlessness who, in the course of the tune, is literally beat out of his home by his abusive family. The sea monster dad tells Sigmund to “go out and scare some humans, or you’re through!
No doubt traumatized by his parents’ death threat, Sigmund makes a pathetic attempt at scaring some unsupervised children. The children mercilessly taunt Sigmund, laughing as his limp little tentacles attempt to catch a ball they callously fling at his googly eyes. Watch them mock as they force the little blob to hula hoop. He has no torso, you dicks. Let’s all thank the show’s creators for turning a disgusting family dynamic in which the parents beat and deride their monster kid out of the home into entertainment.
Of course these same children grew up to believe their abused and neglected offspring would become the playthings of laughing beach goers! Hooray for deadbeat dads and emotionally abusive moms! Meet The Osmonds, a clan of sex-crazed Mormon children with extraordinarily large heads. The decade of the Seventies owes the universe a serious apology. In this instance, it’s for defying the laws of nature and presenting the many, many Osmond boys as cartoony Jonas Brothers-type sex symbols. Which is ridiculous as soon as you take a look at the size of their ginormous heads or the way they sadly flail their arms and legs around in what has to be the worst animated dancing ever created. Maybe the most shocking thing about this program, however, was not the audacity of presenting the Osmonds as sex symbols, it was the reality that the Osmonds were sex symbols.
We’ll pause for a second so you can go wash that little bit of vomit off your teeth. Memo to Mormon Church: don’t let your little boy members animate themselves wooing the hands of many, many little girls from all over the world. It doesn’t look good, you know, on the whole “polygamy” thing. And PS: floating detached heads of little girls in the sky doesn’t look good either. There are no words to prepare you for what you are about to see. This is the type of thing only the Japanese have words for. Pat Robertson forever has the title as one of the guys who introduced anime to American children.
Ultimately responsible for dirty fan fiction featuring Sailor Moon. Rest in peace, sweet soldier of the Lord. Without explanation or background information, viewers are presented with hybrid freak animals that seemed to have arrived at their unholy state by twirling themselves together. No explanation, mind you, just an insistent “We’re the Wuzzles! The unfortunate thing on the bottom?
It’s half moose, half harp seal. His lower half is dragged around on a cart of half wagon, half wheelchair. As disturbing as it is to see animals bred haphazardly through twirling, we defy any child, anywhere in the world, at any time, to watch this show and not picture a lion trying to hump a bumble bee. What toddler sees that and doesn’t immediately picture that dude’s mom stuffing flowers into her vagina? How else could this misshapen horror come about? They are coming for your children in the most zany way possible. Thus the sound effects and laugh-track.
7. I like bacon!
Part of what made the 70s the TMRDTC was the fact that everyone thought variety shows were hilarious and entertaining. After alarmingly large doses of LSD, the Banana Splits were born. Besides the obvious question of how these creatures with non-opposable thumbs can even play their instruments, it’s the subtle little touches that make these guys extra unsettling. Did the lion do that to himself, while strung out on meth? Did the band do it to him as a practical joke while he was passed out in a pool of his own vomit?
To make it even worse, if that were possible, these freaks have the audacity to invade a theme park! Which is where the children are! We’re telling you right now: if ever a bunch of furries invade our favorite theme park, we’ll shoot to kill. Normal kids are born to normal humans, but then begin displaying extraordinary powers. The new evolved humans belong to a race called Homo Superiors. So after the super future-fonted titles explode into chaos, we get a trippy hand that invites us to share in the world of Homo Superiors.
Futuristic bell peppers, so it all makes sense. The entire sequence takes us on a journey to a realm where all rules of logic and rationality are suspended, as if everything we know and love has been eaten by the devil and farted back into our faces. It’s like the scary boat ride in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, where things keep getting stranger and stranger until you suddenly see a chicken get decapitated. You know what we’re talking about.
Nonetheless both manufacturers have altered their recipes for drinks sold in America and they now contain far less of the offending chemical. But products sold in the UK will still be made to the same old recipe as European regulators do not believe they pose any health risks. Officials point out that one would need to drink 1,000 cans of Coke a day to get the same dose of the chemical that was linked to tumours in mice. Studies in the lab had found that the ingredient ‘4-methylimidazole’ – which gives the drink its caramel brown colour – caused cancer in mice and rats.
A Parenting Workshop
This led to the state of California adding the chemical to its official list of ingredients that may cause cancer – or ‘carcinogens’ – earlier this year. Under the state’s law, Coca-Cola and Pepsi would have had to put cancer warning labels on bottles and cans alerting the public to the possible risk. This may well have put many customers off from buying the drinks so the manufacturers instead decided to change the recipes for products sold in California. Over the next few weeks they will roll out the new versions across the rest of America. But the European Food Safety Authority, which assesses the risk of food and drink across the EU, does not believe the ingredient poses any danger. A spokesman for the Food Standards Agency said for this reason the drinks sold in Britain will remain exactly the same. They said: ‘The European Food Safety Authority recently looked at 4-methylimidazole and concluded it does not pose a health risk to humans.
Based on available evidence, the presence of 4-methylimidazole in colouring agents is not a food safety concern. It is very rare for Coca-Cola and Pepsi to change their recipes however. In fact when Coca-Cola tried to make the drink slightly sweeter in 1985 and relaunched it as ‘New Coke’ in the US there was a public outcry. Less than three months later the company announced it was reverting back to the original recipe. The caramel colour in all of our products has been, is and always will be safe, and The Coca-Cola Company is not changing the world-famous formula for our Coca-Cola beverages,’ she said. Over the years, we have updated our manufacturing processes from time to time, but never altered our Secret Formula. We have asked our caramel manufacturers to modify their production process to reduce the amount of 4-MEI in the caramel.
But that will have no effect on the formula or on the great-tasting, high-quality products that consumers expect from us. These modifications will not affect the colour or taste of Coca-Cola. Our commitment to the highest quality and safety of our great brands remains our top priority. And we will continue to rely on sound, evidence-based science to ensure that our products are safe.
SUNY College at Oneonta
The exact recipe of the fizzy drink have always been a mystery. Today’s official recipe is rumoured to be guarded 24-hours a day in a vault in Atlanta. The list of ingredients below are meant to be those used by pharmacist John Pemberton, who created the drink in 1886. Stephen Lawrence was murdered by a five-strong gang in south London in 1993. The comments below have not been moderated. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Intimidated by the thought of taming your garden for summer?
Rochelle Humes powers through London Marathon as she completes her first 26. Gordon Ramsay’s twins Jack and Holly, 18, complete first London Marathon as he celebrates impressive 4. Pippa’s timely baby news shifts spotlight from troubled father-in-law to his VERY different sons but she reach out to Vogue after wedding ban? An oily secuder and a flirty heiress: This is REAL Victorian melodrama! I want to make sure I respond to it in the appropriate way! Will Meghan’s ‘something borrowed’ be from Diana?
BABY EXCLUSIVE COLLECTION
Rita Ora will be raising temperatures in Henley, Lionel Richie promises a mean time in Greenwich and Chris Evans revs up at Carfest. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page. This article needs additional citations for verification. The examples and perspective in this article may not represent a worldwide view of the subject. A warning label is a label attached to an item, or contained in an item’s instruction manual, warning the user about risks associated with the use of the item, and may include restrictions by the manufacturer or seller on certain uses. In the United States warning labels were instituted under the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act of 1938. Warning labels have been produced for different items.
Kid’s Clay Creative Transparent Non-toxic Nonmagnetic Plasticene Plaything
In some cases, these labels warn against some very strange occurrences such as the legendary microwave warning that states ‘do not dry pets in microwave’. Some companies hold ‘strange warning label competitions’ such as the former M-law wacky warning labels competition. While many products intended for human consumption may require warning labels due to the health risks associated with using them, it is only tobacco products that have strongly worded warnings on their health risks. Mahwah, New Jesey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Warning Labels May Be Hazardous to Your Health: Common-Law and Statutory Responses to Alcoholic Beverage Manufacturers’ Duty to Warn”. Federal Cigarette Labeling and Advertising Act, Pub. M-Law Announces Winners Of Seventh Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest”.
Archived from the original on 9 June 2004. Danger: Avoid Death” Warning Wins Top Prize In M-Law’s Eleventh Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest”. Archived from the original on 24 April 2013. This standards- or measurement-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it. This page was last edited on 18 September 2017, at 00:52.
May the force be with them! Read this: May the force be with them! From Batman to Shrek and even Superman, films have become an increasingly popular source of inspiration for brides in search of an unusual wedding theme. But one Harry Potter aficionado has taken things a step further, combining an homage to the boy wizard with a play on Star Wars – her groom’s film of choice. As a result, invitations to the wedding enjoyed by Victoria Maclean-Price and her new husband, Adam Maclean, both 34, last weekend came in the shape of Hogwarts’ acceptance letters while the cake was decorated with an AT-AT walker.