How spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing

10th July 2018OffByRiseNews

The parents accused of killing their 13-year-old adopted daughter, are being investigated over whether they were inspired by a book that encourages children to be biblically punished. The Washington how spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing deny homicide and child abuse charges relating to the death of Ethiopian-born Hana Willaims, who apparently lived in a closet and was denied meals for days at a time. But investigators are looking into whether the Christian book, titled ‘To Train Up a Child’ may have been involved in the death of Hana and will be shown in a CNN documentary. Ungodly Discipline’ on Anderson Cooper’s 360 news show, despite prosecutors insisting that issues of faith were not a factor in the case against the couple.

Hana, who was adopted from Ethiopia by Larry, 47, and Carri Williams, 40, in 2008, died on May 12 after she was found unconscious outside shortly after midnight, in temperatures of around 40 degrees Fahrenheit, authorities said. Although investigators found the Washington state couple adhered to a harsh child-rearing regimen prescribed by a controversial Christian parenting book, the prosecutor said earlier this month that religion was not relevant to the criminal case. Larry and Carri Williams, of Sedro-Woolley — a town about halfway between Seattle and Vancouver, British Columbia — were arrested September 29, more than four months after their daughter, Hana, died of hypothermia in their backyard. 150,000 each on October 6, and barred them from contact with their eight remaining children, who were placed into foster care in July, or with each other.

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Each is charged with homicide by abuse in connection with their daughter’s death, and first-degree assault of a child stemming from mistreatment of her adopted 10-year-old brother from Ethiopia. If convicted each faces a prison term of between 20 and 29 years, according to state sentencing guidelines. Investigators say the abuse she endured included beatings, starvation, being forced to sleep outside and use an outdoor toilet, and that she had lost a significant amount of weight since her adoption. Prosecutors said the 10-year-old brother was similarly mistreated. The parents kept the family isolated from non-relatives, home-schooled the children and followed strict religious principles described in the Christian parenting book titled “To Train Up a Child,” investigators said. According to court documents, their 16-year-old son told investigators that Hana ‘was kept in a locked closet and the only light switch was on the outside of the closet. He stated that his mother would take her out every other day to walk and exercise.

How spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing

They played the Bible on tape and Christian music for her while she was locked in the closet,’ he said. But Prosecutor Rich Weyrich insisted that issues of faith were not a factor in the case against the couple. Religion’s not an element we have to probe. We have to prove that the children were assaulted, tortured and died,’ he said. The Skagit Valley Herald reported that Carri Williams called 911 early May 12 and reported Hana was not breathing. Williams said the girl was being ‘rebellious’ and that she had seen her daughter falling down and staggering in the backyard, and that the girl had taken all her clothes off.

She said Hana had refused to come into the house before she was found face down down in the backyard with mud in her mouth. She was taken to the hospital, where she died of hypothermia at 1:30am. However, an autopsy found malnutrition and a stomach infection were contributing factors. The comments below have been moderated in advance. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Intimidated by the thought of taming your garden for summer?

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On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep is an infant management book written by pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M. Baby Wise presents an infant care program which the authors say will cause babies to sleep through the night beginning between seven and nine weeks of age. The Baby Wise program outlined in the book came under criticism from pediatricians and parents who were concerned that an infant reared using the book’s advice will be at higher risk of failure to thrive, malnutrition, and emotional disorders. In the late 1960s, Gary Ezzo studied at Mohawk Valley Community College in New York state, but he did not earn a degree. In 1984, Anne Marie Ezzo wrote a four-page paper titled “Parent Controlled Feeding”. 1987 and becoming a for-profit in 1989. The infant-rearing research the Ezzos conducted was performed by GFI and not published or subject to peer review.

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In training the infant to follow the book’s recommended eating and sleeping schedule, it was expected that at certain times the infant would be left alone to cry when hungry or wakeful. To create a secular version of the book, Gary Ezzo partnered with Robert Bucknam, a pediatrician from Louisville, Colorado, to write On Becoming Babywise: More Than a Survival Guide which appeared in 1993. Our conviction is that a baby should be fed when he or she signals readiness. With PDF, a mother feeds her baby when the baby is hungry, but she takes advantage of the first few weeks of life to guide the baby’s hunger patterns by a basic routine. The book includes instructions for the care of babies from birth through six months.

How spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing


It primarily covers infant sleep and feeding practices, and emphasizes parental control of infant training. The infant is presented not as the defining center of the household but as a “welcome addition”, subject to larger household order. In contrast to advice given by popular pediatrician William “Dr. The sleep advice given by Baby Wise is similar to Richard Ferber’s advice given in his popular book Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems. A foundation of the book is that “great marriages produce great parents. Ezzo and Bucknam recommend that the new parents continue to schedule dates with each other and have friends over. Buyers of the book include mothers wearied by the demands of attachment parenting, in search of more freedom and time for themselves including the pursuit of careers and other interests.

The book promises that following its plan “will not leave mom ragged at the end of the day nor in bondage to her child. Baby Wise has been criticized by mainstream health care professionals for giving dangerously wrong information regarding infant growth, feeding, sleep and development. Ferber method founder Richard Ferber, MD, Director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital Boston, concurs with Baby Wise regarding some of its sleep advice, but he warns against expecting too much. After noticing the controversy surrounding the book and investigating complaints about the medical advice it gives to new parents, Multnomah Books stopped publishing the text in September 2001. They returned the book rights to GFI. I’m just not their greatest fan.

Practically Perfect in Every Way: My Misadventures Through the World of Self-Help—and Back. Brazelton Answers: Our Parents’ Panel of Questions for Child Development Expert”. Feeding Schedule For Babies Causes Debate”. Babywise’ advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive”. Two churches long associated with Babywise author Gary Ezzo denounce his character and fitness for Christian ministry”.

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Archived from the original on February 14, 2006. Civilization and its Discontented Babies: How Growing Families International, “Babywise” and the Ezzos May Be Making Psychological History”. Archived from the original on March 2, 2001. A Statement Regarding Gary Ezzo and Growing Families International”.

Grace Community Church Explains Why They No Longer Use Any GFI Materials”. Archived from the original on January 28, 1999. Raising America: experts, parents, and a century of advice about children. Philosophy for Everyone: The Birth of Wisdom. You’ve come a long way, baby: women, politics, and popular culture. Parenting with Reason: Evidence-Based Approaches to Parenting Dilemmas.

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Faith reads: a selective guide to Christian nonfiction. This page was last edited on 15 April 2018, at 02:45. An Inuit family is sitting on a log outside their tent. The parents, wearing warm clothing made of animal skins, are engaged in domestic tasks. Between them sits a toddler, also in skin clothes, staring at the camera. For infants and toddlers, the “set-goal” of the attachment behavioral system is to maintain or achieve proximity to attachment figures, usually the parents. Attachment theory is a psychological model that attempts to describe the dynamics of long-term and short-term interpersonal relationships between humans.

How spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing

However, “attachment theory is not formulated as a general theory of relationships. The most important tenet of attachment theory is that an infant needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for the child’s successful social and emotional development, and in particular for learning how to effectively regulate their feelings. Any caregiver is equally likely to become the principal attachment figure if they provide most of the child care and related social interaction. Attachments between infants and caregivers form even if this caregiver is not sensitive and responsive in social interactions with them. Infants cannot exit unpredictable or insensitive caregiving relationships. In the 1980s, the theory was extended to attachment in adults.

Attachment applies to adults when adults feel close attachment to their parents and their romantic partners. Attachment theory has become the dominant theory used today in the study of infant and toddler behavior and in the fields of infant mental health, treatment of children, and related fields. A young mother smiles up at the camera. On her back is her baby gazing at the camera with an expression of lively interest. The attachment system serves to achieve or maintain proximity to the attachment figure. In close physical proximity this system is not activated, and the infant can direct its attention to the outside world. Within attachment theory, attachment means “a biological instinct in which proximity to an attachment figure is sought when the child senses or perceives threat or discomfort.

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Attachment behaviour anticipates a response by the attachment figure which will remove threat or discomfort”. A baby leans at a table staring at a picture book with intense concentration. Insecure attachment patterns can compromise exploration and the achievement of self-confidence. A securely attached baby is free to concentrate on her or his environment. The attachment behavioural system serves to achieve or maintain proximity to the attachment figure. Pre-attachment behaviours occur in the first six months of life.

After the second year, as the child begins to see the caregiver as an independent person, a more complex and goal-corrected partnership is formed. Children begin to notice others’ goals and feelings and plan their actions accordingly. Common attachment behaviours and emotions, displayed in most social primates including humans, are adaptive. The long-term evolution of these species has involved selection for social behaviors that make individual or group survival more likely.

A young father lies on his back on a quilt on the floor. He holds his baby daughter up above him with his arms straight and his hands round her ribcage. The baby has her arms and legs stretched out and arches her back smiling directly at the camera. Early experiences with caregivers gradually give rise to a system of thoughts, memories, beliefs, expectations, emotions, and behaviours about the self and others. Bowlby’s original account of a sensitivity period during which attachments can form of between six months and two to three years has been modified by later researchers. These researchers have shown that there is indeed a sensitive period during which attachments will form if possible, but the time frame is broader and the effect less fixed and irreversible than first proposed. This system, called the “internal working model of social relationships”, continues to develop with time and experience.

How spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing

Internal models regulate, interpret, and predict attachment-related behaviour in the self and the attachment figure. In Western culture child-rearing, there is a focus on single attachment to primarily the mother. This dyadic model is not the only strategy of attachment that produces a secure and emotionally adept child. In hunter-gatherer communities, in the past and present, mothers are the primary caregivers but share the maternal responsibility of ensuring the child’s survival with a variety of different allomothers. So while the mother is important, she is not the only opportunity for relational attachment that a child can make.

The ‘Strange Situation’ is a laboratory procedure used to assess infants’ pattern of attachment to their caregiver by introducing an unexpected threat, two brief separations from the mother followed by reunion. In the procedure, the mother and infant are placed in an unfamiliar playroom equipped with toys while a researcher films the procedure through a one-way mirror. Beginning in 1970, a series of expansions were added to Ainsworth’s original patterns. The strength of a child’s attachment behaviour in a given circumstance does not indicate the ‘strength’ of the attachment bond. Some insecure children will routinely display very pronounced attachment behaviours, while many secure children find that there is no great need to engage in either intense or frequent shows of attachment behaviour.

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The extent of exploration and of distress are affected, however, by the child’s temperamental make-up and by situational factors as well as by attachment status. In the traditional Ainsworth et al. Strange Situation, secure infants are denoted as “Group B” infants and they are further subclassified as B1, B2, B3, and B4. When assistance is given, this bolsters the sense of security and also, assuming the parent’s assistance is helpful, educates the child in how to cope with the same problem in the future. Therefore, secure attachment can be seen as the most adaptive attachment style. Anxious-ambivalent attachment is also misnamed as ‘resistant attachment’.

When the mother departs, the child is often highly distressed. Perhaps the most conspicuous characteristic of C2 infants is their passivity. Their exploratory behavior is limited throughout the SS and their interactive behaviors are relatively lacking in active initiation. The study also found that children with ambivalent attachments were more likely to experience difficulties in maintaining intimate relationships as adults.

An infant with an anxious-avoidant pattern of attachment will avoid or ignore the caregiver—showing little emotion when the caregiver departs or returns. The infant will not explore very much regardless of who is there. Ainsworth’s narrative records showed that infants avoided the caregiver in the stressful Strange Situation Procedure when they had a history of experiencing rebuff of attachment behaviour. The infant’s needs were frequently not met and the infant had come to believe that communication of emotional needs had no influence on the caregiver. Ainsworth herself was the first to find difficulties in fitting all infant behaviour into the three classifications used in her Baltimore study. Ainsworth and colleagues sometimes observed “tense movements such as hunching the shoulders, putting the hands behind the neck and tensely cocking the head, and so on. There is rapidly growing interest in disorganized attachment from clinicians and policy-makers as well as researchers.

Main and Hesse found that most of the mothers of these children had suffered major losses or other trauma shortly before or after the birth of the infant and had reacted by becoming severely depressed. Across different cultures deviations from the Strange Situation Protocol have been observed. 60 Japanese mother-infant pairs and compared them with Ainsworth’s distributional pattern. Although the ranges for securely attached and insecurely attached had no significant differences in proportions, the Japanese insecure group consisted of only resistant children with no children categorized as avoidant. Techniques have been developed to allow verbal ascertainment of the child’s state of mind with respect to attachment. An example is the “stem story”, in which a child is given the beginning of a story that raises attachment issues and asked to complete it.

For older children, adolescents and adults, semi-structured interviews are used in which the manner of relaying content may be as significant as the content itself. Crittenden’s ideas developed from Bowlby’s proposal that “given certain adverse circumstances during childhood, the selective exclusion of information of certain sorts may be adaptive. Yet, when during adolescence and adulthood the situation changes, the persistent exclusion of the same forms of information may become maladaptive”. In childhood this information would include emotions provoked by the unexplained absence of an attachment figure. Causal or other sequentially-ordered knowledge about the potential for safety or danger. In childhood this would include knowledge regarding the behaviours that indicate an attachment figure’s availability as a secure haven.

How spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing

Type A strategies were hypothesized to be based on reducing perception of threat to reduce the disposition to respond. There is an extensive body of research demonstrating a significant association between attachment organizations and children’s functioning across multiple domains. Early insecure attachment does not necessarily predict difficulties, but it is a liability for the child, particularly if similar parental behaviours continue throughout childhood. Behavioral problems and social competence in insecure children increase or decline with deterioration or improvement in quality of parenting and the degree of risk in the family environment.

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Some authors have questioned the idea that a taxonomy of categories representing a qualitative difference in attachment relationships can be developed. Examination of data from 1,139 15-month-olds showed that variation in attachment patterns was continuous rather than grouped. There is some evidence that gender differences in attachment patterns of adaptive significance begin to emerge in middle childhood. Environmental risk can cause insecure attachment, while also favouring the development of strategies for earlier reproduction. Childhood and adolescence allows the development of an internal working model useful for forming attachments.

This internal working model is related to the individual’s state of mind which develops with respect to attachment generally and explores how attachment functions in relationship dynamics based on childhood and adolescent experience. Age, cognitive growth, and continued social experience advance the development and complexity of the internal working model. Attachment-related behaviours lose some characteristics typical of the infant-toddler period and take on age-related tendencies. The preschool period involves the use of negotiation and bargaining. Three children aged about six years are in a group on the ground, a boy and girl kneeling and another boy seated cross-legged. The two kneeling children hold marbles. There are other marbles in a bag on the ground.

They appear to be negotiating over the marbles. Peers become important in middle childhood and have an influence distinct from that of parents. Ideally, these social skills become incorporated into the internal working model to be used with other children and later with adult peers. As children move into the school years at about six years old, most develop a goal-corrected partnership with parents, in which each partner is willing to compromise in order to maintain a gratifying relationship. Attachment theory was extended to adult romantic relationships in the late 1980s by Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver. Four styles of attachment have been identified in adults: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant.

How spiritual parenting can ground your child rearing


Securely attached adults tend to have positive views of themselves, their partners and their relationships. They feel comfortable with intimacy and independence, balancing the two. Anxious-preoccupied adults seek high levels of intimacy, approval and responsiveness from partners, becoming overly dependent. A young couple relax under a tree. The man lies on his back looking up at the woman.

The woman, with striking long blond hair and sunglasses, is seated by his head, looking down at him and with her hand placed round his head. Attachment styles in adult romantic relationships roughly correspond to attachment styles in infants but adults can hold different internal working models for different relationships. Two main aspects of adult attachment have been studied. The organization and stability of the mental working models that underlie the attachment styles is explored by social psychologists interested in romantic attachment.

There are a number of different measures of adult attachment, the most common being self-report questionnaires and coded interviews based on the Adult Attachment Interview. The various measures were developed primarily as research tools, for different purposes and addressing different domains, for example romantic relationships, parental relationships or peer relationships. The early thinking of the object relations school of psychoanalysis, particularly Melanie Klein, influenced Bowlby. However, he profoundly disagreed with the prevalent psychoanalytic belief that infants’ responses relate to their internal fantasy life rather than real-life events.

Two rows of little boys, about 20 in total, kneel before their beds in the dormitory of a residential nursery. Their eyes are shut and they are in an attitude of prayer. They wear long white night gowns and behind them are their iron framed beds. Prayer time in the Five Points House of Industry residential nursery, 1888.