Improving Thinking Skills Through Party Planning
Our field projects span the globe. We have more than 100 current international development projects worldwide, including projects in Iraq, Jordan, Afghanistan, South Sudan, Pakistan, Colombia, Paraguay improving Thinking Skills Through Party Planning Kenya. Every day in California friends, family and co-workers struggle with emotional pain.
And, for some, it’s too difficult to talk about the pain, thoughts of suicide and the need for help. Though the warning signs can be subtle, they are there. KNOW THE SIGNS Pain isn’t always obvious, but most suicidal people show some signs that they are thinking about suicide. If you see even one warning sign, step in or speak up. Take the time to learn what to do now, so you’re ready to be there for a friend or loved one when it matters most. I went home to visit my parents for the weekend. While I was helping my mother go through some of dad’s paperwork we found a pamphlet called ‘The Right to Die.
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They stockpile medications or show sudden interest in firearms. They withdraw or isolate from friends and family. They stop talking to and doing things with others or stop doing activities they once enjoyed. They increase alcohol or drug use. They neglect personal appearance, hygiene, don’t change clothes for extended periods of time, don’t eat or eat poorly.
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They rush to complete or revise a will. They sleep more or can’t sleep and are restless or have a disruption in sleep patterns. My husband had been dealing with depression. One morning I found him staring at pictures of relatives around the house. He would stare for a minute, then go to the next one. He was trying to say goodbye.
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They give away possessions, indicate they are saying farewell or end relationships. We’d talk online every day, until she stopped all communication. On her facebook page, she had taken down all the pictures of us and her family. She hadn’t posted anything in weeks, and changed her profile picture to a picture she’d drawn of a coffin. They withdraw from friends and family, stop talking to and doing things with others or stop doing activities they once enjoyed. My daughter was so athletic and energetic, but suddenly she wanted to sleep all the time.
They sleep more or can’t sleep and are restless. Now it seems she’s always high or wanting to be. She told me she just wanted to hide from all the problems in her life. They are drinking alcohol or using other drugs. I never knew what would trigger him. They show a significant personality change. People loved him, especially the ladies.
He always dressed nice, but after his dad died, he changed. He started to look like he just rolled out of bed all the time. They have an unusual neglect of personal appearance, lack of personal hygiene, and stop caring about even basic grooming. One day after school, she handed it to me. She insisted I take it and said she wouldn’t need it anymore.
The next day another friend of ours told me that she had given her favorite dress to her. She was giving away all the things she cared about. They give away favorite possessions or throw away important belongings. We used to get together for a beer once a week, then I found out he’d been driving home drunk every night, and I realized it wasn’t just the alcohol that was the problem. He was trying to hurt himself. They increase use of alcohol or drugs.
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Their statements might be subtle or vague. They may be direct and literally say they are going to kill themselves. Thoughts may be reflected in something written or drawn. He never used to have a temper. They express or act in ways that reflect hostility, bitterness, resentment or rage. He always drove too fast, then began drinking and driving. When I found out he crashed his car, I wasn’t sure it was just an accident.
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They act in ways that could be dangerous or detrimental and they do not seem to care about the consequences. Nothing is ever going to change. It’s never going to get better. They don’t see their situation or life changing for the better and don’t see a way out. They make statements that hint that life seems pointless. I don’t want my family or friends to have to worry about me anymore.
They feel like a burden to others. She always seems to be near panic. They appear nervous, shaken or worried. At first he started coming late, then skipped a game or two.
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When he did show up for a game, he wasn’t very energetic or talkative. Then he stopped showing up altogether. When we saw each other at work, he would just nod and walk by. But he was only 28 years old. When I questioned him, he said ‘I’m telling you just in case I’m not here anymore’.
They give away prized or favorite possessions. FIND THE WORDS “Are you thinking of ending your life? Few phrases are as difficult to say to a loved one. But when it comes to suicide prevention, none are more important. Here are some ways to get the conversation started.
Visit the Reach Out section of this website for a list of national and local resources. Before starting a conversation with someone you are concerned about, be sure to have suicide crisis resources on hand. Mention the signs that prompted you to ask about suicide. This makes it clear that you are not asking “out of the blue,” and makes it more difficult for the person to deny that something is bothering them. Sometimes when people feel like that, they are thinking about suicide.
Talking about suicide does NOT put the idea in someone’s head and usually they are relieved. Asking directly and using the word “suicide” establishes that you and the person at risk are talking about the same thing and lets the person know that you are willing to talk about suicide. Are you thinking about ending your life? You may phrase the question in a different way. If they answer “yes” to your direct question about suicide stay calm, and don’t leave the person alone until further help is obtained. Call 9-1-1 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. I can imagine how tough this must be for you.
I understand when you say that you aren’t sure if you want to live or die. But have you always wanted to die? Well, maybe there’s a chance you won’t feel this way forever. Listen to the reasons the person has for both living and dying. Validate that they are considering both options and underscore that living is an option for them. I’m deeply concerned about you and I want you to know that help is available to get you through this. Let the person know you care.
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Letting them know that you take their situation seriously, and you are genuinely concerned about them, will go a long way in your effort to support them. Do you have any weapons or prescription medications in the house? Another friend, family member or law enforcement agent may be needed to assist with this. Is there someone you can call if you think you may act on your thoughts of suicide? Ask the person what will help keep them safe until they meet with a professional. Will you promise me that you will not drink or at least have someone monitor your drinking until we can get you help?
Ask the person if they will refrain from using alcohol and other drugs or agree to have someone monitor their use. Please promise me that you will not harm yourself or act on any thoughts of suicide until you meet with a professional. Get a verbal commitment that the person will not act upon thoughts of suicide until they have met with a professional. I understand if it feels awkward to go see a counselor.
But there is a phone number we can call to talk to somebody. Provide the person with the resources you have come prepared with. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline anytime at 1-800-273-8255. If you feel the situation is critical, take the person to a nearby Emergency Room or walk-in psychiatric crisis clinic or call 9-1-1. You’re not thinking about suicide, are you? OR, “You’re not thinking about doing something stupid, are you?
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Don’t ask in a way that indicates you want “No” for an answer. If you want to be selfish and kill yourself then go right ahead! Don’t tell the person to do it. You may want to shout in frustration or anger, but this is the most dangerous thing you can say. Don’t Say: “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.
Your secret is safe with me. The person may say that they don’t want you to tell anyone that they are suicidal. Say this instead: “I care about you too much to keep a secret like this. You need help and I am here to help you get it.