These 16 People Are So Photogenic It”s Freaking Hilarious
These 16 People Are So Photogenic It’s Freaking Hilarious you got what it takes to write for Cracked. Then submit an article or some other pieces of content. Hey, why can’t I vote on comments?
Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. If you’re already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. The Best, Most Underrated Lines From Shows And Movies, Pt. American presidents are like X-Men — there’s a ridiculous number of them, and most of their backstories are either too weird or too boring to retain your interest.
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That’s why we cling to certain well-known tales that help us easily label and categorize our presidents. There’s only one problem with these little nuggets of awesome: Not nearly all of them are true. The 1960 presidential debates between Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy were the first to be broadcast on television. This ended up playing a pretty big role in deciding the election: While the wily statesman Nixon was the better orator on the radio, the young, handsome, photogenic Kennedy easily beat his sweaty, scruffy opponent on TV, which was one of the key moments on his road to the presidency.
In a perfect, rational world, we’d choose Nixon every time. There’s really no evidence that things went like this. The TV debate legend comes from a single poll by a market research firm and is so full of holes that it’s like someone’s been machine-gunning a colander. The survey’s radio part was based on just 282 radio listeners, only 172 of whom bothered to actually answer it. Why, it’d be as bad as picking the president by polling 172 corn farmers.
This ridiculously inadequate “survey” was the only one that claimed to distinguish between TV and radio owners. In general, the surveys mostly found that Kennedy had won, but that was less to do with his image and more to do with the fact that he, you know, performed much better in the debate than Nixon. If you watched that clip, you’ll notice that Kennedy looked more like a murder doll from some terrible episode of The Twilight Zone than a suave hunk. But he talks a very good game, and Tricky Dick is clearly a bit overwhelmed. So if the survey is bullshit — and we cannot emphasize enough that it probably is — then how did the story become so widely accepted? Well, like we said earlier, it’s a very useful story.
Nixon’s supporters got to blame their defeat on something other than their candidate being a corruption-mired misanthrope, academics got to drone on about the media’s skewing influence on politics, and repressed ’60s ladies got something to ogle in the family room. In popular culture, there is precisely one notable feature that kept William Howard Taft from joining the likes of Millard Fillmore and James Polk in the pantheon of forgotten presidents. Never mind the civil service reforms or the introduction of the corporate income tax — dude was husky! Post-presidency, clothes no longer fit him, so he and his friends just wore dressing gowns. In fact, Taft was so fat that he once got stuck in the White House bathtub! They had to grease him up with butter and get four strong men to pull him out!
He probably tried to eat the butter! It’s true that Taft was a heavy guy. However, that doesn’t mean he was an idiot. Seriously, what kind of bizarro body dysmorphia would someone need to have to wedge himself into a bathtub so tightly that it took four men to wrench him free? And how would that person even manage to get stuck when his bathtub looked like this? If he got stuck with three other men, the story probably would have mentioned that.
He’d have to be shaped like a giant Twinkie. No, Taft was well aware of his impressive girth, which is why he had a custom extra-large bathtub installed in the White House as soon as he took office. So how did the story start? First, like all great celebrity anecdotes, it may have begun with a broke ex-employee who had a book to sell. Irwin “Ike” Hoover was a former White House usher whose book — published in 1934, after Taft was dead — made all sorts of salacious allegations about the presidents he’d served under, a version of the bathtub story among them.
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But then he may have just been repeating what he’d already heard from supporters of Teddy Roosevelt. Jay-Z wouldn’t lie to us: Everyone knows Joe Kennedy, patriarch of the Kennedy clan, was a bootlegger during Prohibition, and the family fortune was more or less founded on his illegal gains. That’s why the whole family has suffered under a tipsy curse. This is probably the most pervasive story on this list, yet there is no evidence for it whatsoever. In fact, it would have been pretty strange if Joe Kennedy, who was already an immensely wealthy Hollywood mogul and investor when Prohibition began, had decided to risk it all for his undying love of gettin’ sloppy.
Teddy, maybe — but not Joe. Joe stockpiling a good amount of whiskey just before alcohol became illegal. During the 1930s, Joe Kennedy was nominated for a number of federal positions, all of which required a thorough background check — no evidence of involvement in bootlegging was ever found. The FBI kept a file about his ridiculous pants, but no, nothing on bootlegging.
The story seems to stem from Kennedy’s actions when it became clear that Prohibition was ending. He immediately obtained the import rights for several high-end gin brands and started bringing them into the country before the law was technically repealed. However, this was perfectly legal, as he did not actually sell any of the gin until Prohibition ended. The story took off when JFK ran for president and really got out of hand after his assassination. Once the conspiracy theorists got their tin foil ball rolling, wild speculation about the Kennedy family’s supposed connections to organized crime became big business. Everyone knows the story of how Honest Abe got his start as a humble backwoods mom-and-pop lawyer. He spent his time traveling along dirt roads, sticking up for the little guy, and probably trudging through a lot of cases involving stolen livestock and irate lumberjacks.
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Clients generally paid him in turnips or bacon. You know the ruthless corporate lawyer character that always shows up in movies? The steely guy in the expensive suit who’s racking up huge bills representing some faceless megacorp, even if it means shutting down the puppy orphanage to build the new child-punching plant? His home turf of Springfield, Illinois, was not in any way a backwater town, and Lincoln dominated the scene — “his firm handled between 17 and 34 percent of all local cases. This delayed the transcontinental railroad’s construction by 10 years. We’re by no means trying to say that Abe was a bad guy — just that popular conception portrays him as a strangely intelligent hick, lawyerin’ around the backwoods for seed and grain, when in reality he was more like a freakishly tall cast member from an old-timey version of L.
Law, all sunglasses and fast carriages and peacoats with the top three buttons undone. People sure did like to make stuff up about Kennedy. But it’s kind of understandable: With his youthful energy, JFK really shook up the stuffy old Washington establishment. You still have hair and your vision!
He was basically the poster boy for a healthy, vibrant political prodigy. He made the American public stand up and ask: “Why do we keep giving this job to feeble old men when clearly a good-lookin’ action hero in the prime of his life is the better choice? And that’s how we got President Bill Pullman. JFK was basically at death’s door for most of his presidency, and it definitely had an effect on his administration. Kennedy had severe medical issues all his life, including — but not limited to — colitis, Addison’s disease, and serious back problems. Which produced a pathologically healthy glow.
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1954 he almost died after back surgery. By the time he was elected president, JFK was on a truly terrifying cocktail of drugs. By 1961, he was being injected with powerful painkillers two or three times a day, on top of daily amphetamine injections from a questionable German character called Dr. We suspect that might not even have been his real name. For camouflage, the nation soon made drug use mandatory for all citizens. JFK was briefly put on antipsychotics during the Cuban missile crisis to combat his terrible mood swings.
It has frequently been speculated that his bizarrely poor performance at the Vienna summit with Nikita Khrushchev was due to his heavy amphetamine use. Do you dream of designing T-shirts and rolling around in the dollar bills that result from that design? Because if you enter our latest T-shirt contest, that dream could come true. Always on the go but can’t get enough of Cracked?
We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article. Related Reading: For some trivia on the crazy things that fix American elections, click here. Oh, and did your history teacher mention that LBJ was a dong-waving sex machine? And be sure to pre-order Cracked. Head Writer Dan O’Brien’s book, How to Fight Presidents, to better prepare yourself for your next presidential run-in. A bizarre chain of events that started with one businessman throwing a temper tantrum.
It was almost meant to happen. Some people are meant to come into your life,’ he shared about his experience. Gushing about his new traveling companion, he also added: ‘She is such an amazing human being, she’s so normal’. The vloggers decided to meet in London for the first leg of their trip and Jaul said it was a great city to break the ice and despite hitting it off immediately, he kept waiting for something bad to happen. They went to Tenerife next so they could get away from ‘the norm’ and he said in two days it felt like they had known each other for a couple of years. Jaul also shared that while they were there they had lots of ‘amazing’ and ‘real’ conversations and it was very new to him to have those kinds of feelings. Their next destination was Paris and it was in the city of love that the pair turned their friendship into something more.
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All I can say is we’re very happy right now. I feel like it was too good to be true. And when he returned home, he felt confused and couldn’t sleep because he had never met someone and connected with someone that instantly. Revealing that he wanted to keep some details private, he shared with his followers that the future is unknown but he’s exited for 2018, and feels that he finished 2017 with a bang.
In the comments section, Kara Morgan wrote, ‘Omg Nessa deserves all of this, I love this so much! She deserves someone who truly cares and takes care of her for once and it seems like you could be that person. And Nappy Fish wrote: ‘Can’t sleep at night’ ‘she makes u feel safe’ ‘body playing games’ sounds like LOVEEEEE’. Marissa Strong shared: ‘This whole love saga has made me love you and her individually even more but you two together is all I want to see soooo make it happen’. While ‘Xuxa_la_xicana typed: ‘I am so happy she found you. I have watched her struggle for years with the fake people you mentioned and other issues and always thought it was unfair because I can tell she is a genuinely sweet person.
And I can tell you two will have a strong relationship because you guys can also get along on the friendship and emotional level as well. Subscriber Anastasia Cekic also saw the pair having a future together. She said that the entire time they were chatting and getting to know each other she always thought he was cute so when he asked her if she wanted to go travelling with him, she took a chance and said yes. She revealed that her mom thought she was crazy at first, but supported her as she explained she wanted to have some life experiences. She was also nervous and ‘had knots’ in her stomach ahead of the trip, but afterwards called it one of the ‘best experiences’ of her life. I’m sad now to be home’ she shard, explaining that she had also cried as she missed Jarl so much.
She also said she was trying to keep certain things private as she didn’t want people in her business but she did share that she felt like she was ‘having withdrawals’. I had an amazing time , that trip was probably one of the best moments of my entire life,’ she told the camera. I can’t wait to see him again and go more places and do more things. I’ve never met somebody I’ve connected so much with in my life.
It was too perfect, he’s too perfect. In the comments section, her fans have also been urging the pair to couple up. While Lauren Hammond typed: ‘We have just witnessed two people fall in love. And Smexy Diamond said: ‘They’re in love with each other and don’t even know it. Rikki Todd even urged her to consider relocating to Norway. She wrote: ‘So who movin’ you or him?
Because even my own mother dont fw long distance relationships boo. YOU BETTER GO GET YOUR MAN! However, with such a huge distance between them, Vanessa also revealed that she felt slightly uneasy about what the future holds. I just feel weird now, I feel really weird and I don’t like this feeling at all,’ she said. Jasmine Zheng, 21, says that in January she and her then-boyfriend Zhiwei Zheng, 26, took a trip from Manhattan’s Chinatown to Atlantic City for a night of gambling. The comments below have not been moderated.
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An oily secuder and a flirty heiress: This is REAL Victorian melodrama! I’ve seen lots of boozy lollipop recipes, but none containing red wine. I did a good bit of searching online, and even in my personal stash of candy cookbooks -nada. I became obsessed with the idea of a red wine pop, and my mission soon became clear: get in the SB test kitchen and fill this terrible void in the confectionery world!
I increased the red wine, only to find the candy wouldn’t set properly. I knew better, but I did it anyway. A while later the correct synapse fired in my brain, and the answer was simple: make a red wine reduction. This gave the lollipops big-time flavor and a beautiful color. I dressed up the lollies with gold luster dust, and the technique could not be easier!
The gold dust will separate a little while the lollies lay flat. And perfect to hand out for Valentine’s day. After much deliberation, it looks like I will be attending Blissdom this year! I can’t wait to meet some of my favorite people! Last week while making Chicken Marsala, I accidentally coated our chicken in powdered sugar instead of flour. I blame my husband and his efforts to organize my pantry with unlabeled containers. We both choked down about two bites.
Perhaps I should just stick to making dessert. I am still loving my special purpose camera, but my poor dogs may go blind from the flash. I can’t help that they are so photogenic. This recipe has proved to be difficult for some.
Please read all the comments before attempting this recipe. Note: You will need hard candy lollipop molds or a silicone mat. If those are not readily available, parchment-lined cookie sheets will also work. Bring red wine to a simmer in a small saucepan. 3 cup, this should take about 20-25 minutes. Remove from stove-top and let cool completely.
In a medium saucepan combine sugar, corn syrup, salt and wine reduction. Clip a candy thermometer to the side of the saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. Stir occasionally with a heat-proof spatula until all sugar granules have dissolved. Boil until candy temperature registers 298-310 degrees on a candy thermometer. Remove from heat and fill greased lollipop molds with the hot candy. Place lollipop sticks in the stick crevices and rotate until the stick is coated in the hot candy. Alternatively, you may also drop the hot candy from a spoon onto a silicone mat or parchment paper, making two to three-inch disks and leaving room to place -and rotate- the lollipop sticks.
Allow the lollipops to harden completely. These are best if you wait a day to consume them, as this gives the red wine flavor plenty of time to develop. Many of you are having trouble with the candy burning. I just made these again to make sure I didn’t make a mistake or leave something important out. I use a digital thermometer, as it is easier to read. Also, don’t use a large pan in which to boil the candy, or it will certainly burn. The photo of the lollipop over the wine glass is absolute magic!
What a clever thing you are! I was excited to see a post from you. What a super ideaI’m sad I just left the store without the luster stuffI almostalmostbought some. I gotta get me a lollipop mold, just for this treat. I wonder if you can do the same thing with lime and tequila? I’ve never heard of this before!
I found this recipe via Pinterest. What a fantastic idea for Valentine’s Day treats! I wish I was a drinker and could actually try them! I have lolly molds and luster dust just waiting to be used! Now, how many lollipops do you have to consume to catch a buzz?
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Ughhh I want one so bad right now! I don’t suppose you’ve seen Bernard’s lolly on Black Books? Oh my stars, this is a fantastic idea! I am just now finding your blog and I love it. You are going on my list of favorites sidebar. Hope you’re having a great weekend.